somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
