Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
