i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
