I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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