break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dick very happy bro
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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