I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
