Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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