You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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