Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
