Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
