It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
