I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize