she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
