People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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