we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize