Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
