i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
