omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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