I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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