had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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