you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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