Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
