i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
