he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
