You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
