you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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