I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
