ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
