Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
