i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
