She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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