I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Randomize
