I'm going to jail i love you
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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