Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
