need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
