I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
