Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
