Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
