I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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