and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
