Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
