perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
