Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
