You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
