What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
