Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
