Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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