No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
