There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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