so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
