ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize