It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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