I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
