I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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