I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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