Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
