I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
