We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
