Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
